wheel of consent facilitator
consent around touch
you can communicate without dominating. you can play in your interactions in an empowering way…
While teaching partner acrobatics, I observed how acrobatic partners worked together. I noticed the ways in which the base (person with most control) would interact with the flyer (the person who was being moved around). I saw that certain dynamics were needed for a success acro relationship to form and grow.
Consent was an important piece. This consisted of clear and kind communication, respecting a person's limits and discussing what you were going to be doing (and not doing) beforehand. It also involved talking about what the individual experienced or needed while the other listened. This was not about blame but sharing of experience. Ownership of communication breakdowns.
Many people I worked with said they said it was so different flying with me. I communicated. I didn’t take over. It was a team effort. This interest again peaked learning about the Wheel of Consent in my sex coaching training. The wheel of consent deepened my knowledge of how to ask for what you want and to make agreements. It ultimately led me to training as a facilitator.
Consent is an agreement between 2 or more people about what will and what won’t happen.
~ Betty Martin
what is wheel of consent®?
The Wheel of Consent® is a practice. It provides a framework for people to create agreements with one another. It is a practice that offers language to ask for what you want and to hear what others want. It supports you to notice your desires and your limits. It encourages you to focus on the choosing not so much the doing.
It helps you to notice, trust, value and communicate your desires and hear those of others. You can practise saying and hearing No, Yes or give me more information. It also helps you to feel more in your body. While the practice was developed by a sex coach in her coaching session, this practice is useful in all areas of our relating lives whether friends, family or at work.
or
Two offers: What do you want to do to me? What do you want me to do to you?
~ Harry Faddis
These two questions were the basis of the Wheel. These questions lead us into the three minute game. This game helps us to explore the essence of the wheel of consent. This allows the practitioner to notice the ways the give and receive well, where habits lie and where they need to practice. What the wheel brings to consent is that it separates the who’s doing and who is done to from the giving and receiving. This is where the magic lies.
want to know more?
I teach one to one sessions with clients as well as Wheel of Consent® workshops. These can range from 3 hours to 3 days. The intention of sessions or workshops is give clients and participants a felt sense of what consent is in their bodies. To trust and value their body’s wisdom. And to have the language to communicate their need, want or boundary.